The Hibernation

by Pilgrim

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about

Recorded in 2012, partially in Chez May Studios, partially in my room. Much thanks to Linton Wright for his help on My Reprisal, and Seth Small for his help on The Little Love and Everything is Coming Back Now. Thanks to Hrishikesh Hirway and Alex Takacs for their extremely helpful feedback. As always, artwork by Alex Takacs.

for all inquiries, contact: xanderwhistler@gmail.com

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released October 29, 2012

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Pilgrim Los Angeles, California

Fuck it we'll do it live.

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Track Name: My Reprisal
I was born with a stubborn tongue and a mind that couldn’t cope.
I was tossed away by the very ones who'd laid me into this great big joke.
The first lesson I learned was never be patient,
"[Our] little life is rounded [with] a sleep," and its just a dead man’s dream until you make it your own.

So I grabbed myself some dirt, and shaped it into this pretty little thing,
I left my prints where they'd be easily recognized so it would sing my name.

And unlike the place that I came from this one is big enough for me to breath,
I can romp and roam about giving and taking as I please.
But I suppose it ain’t that simple, we ain’t privy to half of what we eat,
And there's the curse, it’s a tightly packed hearse for us blind and parasitic beasts.

So what changes could I have hoped to bring about?
I’m just a lone horse tugging at the reigns but I’ll never break out,
Cuz I’ve been branded with a name I can’t seem to figure out.
So I’ll keep running until I've left this song behind,
Yea i'll keep running until I've left this song behind..
Track Name: Pieced Together
There you sat with a holy book in your hands. You shined like some distant sun.
And oh, that sweet melody was ringing and hung heavy on my ear drums.

But now something has gone wrong, our songs have been sung, but your heart is still deaf and dumb.

Yea, you’ve proved immune to this tune that I’ve been singing. I guess my voice couldn’t reach you that far.
Please come, you white haired fool, I’ve had enough. This is the last face you’ll ever leave scarred,

And your soft, sweet voice will be lost to spiteful clocks who spin to see us rot.

Oh, do you really know your part?
No, but you’ve painted the past with that little tainted heart,
Yea, yours has been pieced together in the dark
By your old man’s hand’s from the start,
He just gives and he takes and he gives,

And he makes or breaks all of your bold thoughts,
And binds your life to something that’ll never be lost.
And damn, that thought has been eatin’ at you.
Those years you thought were forgotten will be nailed to the cross.

But wait, we’ve never even heard your name since you came around,
You were just another creature with a strange face, but oh,
Now you’re worried that your looks have started changing, and babe I’m afraid to tell you that it's so,
This curse ain’t one you can escape, oh no..

So this is all just a free fall,
Each one of us is blinded by the weight of it all.
And though just some of the roads are connected,
They all lead back to the same goddamn questions,

Well kid, you can’t leave your mark here now, so why don’t you go
Back to the swamps where you came from, now that you know
This warmth ain’t worth all of the cold spells. Yea, and all along
We’ve known this sad fact, you’re not alone.
Track Name: The Little Love
Little lovers in the dead of night light the course they’ve taken in hindsight.
Nothing stirs between the two of them. What is was and could not have not been.

Sweet lullaby, don’t send me to sleep too quickly,
I never could hold you completely,
And oh, what a fate it would be to seep so seamlessly out of me and into your being.

They were named by the whole clan, set in stone and tied to a stranger’s hand.
But something came unhinged once their eyes met on this faint but fortunate turn of events.

Sweet misery, what use are these memories?
Hush fuzzy face, won't you let my conscience be?
No living thing will ever satisfy me.
So I guess your nameless phantom will forever keep me hungry.

- - - - - - -

Is it gift or a curse, this shapeless mind?
Set free by what tames it, this common creation,
And none of it is mine. It was all left behind
For the taking.

Is it a gift or a curse, this aimless life?
Set free by these strangers, and bound to these strangers
But all of it is mine if it was all left behind
For the taking.
Track Name: Everything is Coming Back Now
I will wait as you slowly paint your face,
then I will show you that there's been something wrong and that there’s nothing you’ve been living towards.
Cuz you need somebody to tell you that you’re free,
And that this pavement won’t lead you home, and I’m done breathing through the telephone.

So I will speak a little more, though my voice is coarse,
And the words that float through my door can't seem to reach you anymore.

Now your face looks scared and full of regret
As we lay here trembling in the dark, and I hold you in these heavy arms.
So its time to quit telling yourself that you’re fine,
Because in the basement lays a cable and all the cold dead dreams you’ve strangled.

But please keep your most wicked thoughts beneath the floor,
And bury this corpse, you don’t need it anymore.

------

Now your trucking along on the interstate road and your souls have been torn to shreds,
And your heart is pumping, yea its ready to explode, so your just looking for some place to rest.

Your mind has been scarred and broken and driven too far,
And you never thought you’d need me to tell you where you are,
But your wheels have started dragging through this wet tar,
And all you've ever known is fading with these dying stars.

And the moment you feel like this is over, I will fill your body with lead,
And your dreams will finally come breaking through your skull just to wake you to your lonely death

Look at the television screen, its still flashing pictures of me.
I'm selling all that I have to give, but you're still clinging to your disease.
So pick up the phone and say my name, baby, and i'll come rolling on down the street,
Cuz everything is coming back now, this is our little home by the sea...
Track Name: Babel
Hush little one, just listen. My fickle heart is trying to talk,
but we've been struck by a common weakness, and now our words keep wandering off.

And as they skip and stumble off of the road we've set them on, this useless tongue is humbled, knowing his was a misheard song.
Oh, I had good intentions. I never thought they'd do us wrong. But i've got no pretensions, I know these blind sounds will shuffle along.


We are all lonely readers marching through the same fertile text, and as we read we write with the same eyes, sowing and reaping seeds we were born to beget.
And through this hollow bone runs a river, a babbling brook who's source i've yet to find.
Its mighty roar is the first i remember. Its generous etchings shaped my infant mind.

Now little one, quit listening. My heart is done trying to talk,
And all your debts are forgiven, no sound remains save the ticking clock.
Track Name: Killing Time
Oh, it’s back to the old grind. We've been left with all of this sweet, sweet time to kill, and some stained skin would do us well, so let’s cut the old man open and have our fill.
Bound by an oath made under some strange spell, I swore I’d scream until I’d emptied myself, but this hollow bone has made a damn good prison cell, and deep inside that fool still dwells.

So it pays off to keep a couple of lies beneath your tongue. I’ve used them loosely and look what good they’ve done.
Yea, your undying faith is all i've ever had to lean on, cuz there's nothing beneath this skin i'm certain of.

Stained glass lines the hall, and the same dead men keep haunting us all. Our little eyes are rooted in their cracked skulls. Yea, we're bound to this dirty nest we'll only ever see the ashes of.
Son, what's wrong? This song was meant to make you conscience-calm'd…

-----

Everything up to this point has been preparation, a filthy coronation.
And by the way, your voice never came to you, you were born like me with your neck in the noose…

Oh my god, it was always going to be this way, yea, you've handed yourself over to fat fate.
So, my little doll, why're you making that face? We both know I'm a disgrace.
Track Name: Sun-Dried Conscience
Hey, sun dried conscience, its been awhile since I could recognize you,
'Cuz I've got the whole gang gathered in my brain, but they're lit through the mirror of your disdain.
And this locomotive is heading straight for the ocean, and it ain't stopping for us 'til its through
these hills.

Each and every night, your ghost will surely die just as soon as it comes to life.
But what it paints will hang upon these walls, commemorating your fall.

Hey, shape shifter, you've been a drifter for as long as this skull has borne these eyes,
and ours is a fools game, a hat full of strange names, each one marks a spot where your bones could lie,
so please quit paving these tracks you've been laying, us senseless choosers gotta fall in line.

Each and every night, your ghost will surely die just as soon as it comes to life.
But whats been painted will hang upon these walls, commemorating your fall.

He's a loaded gun tied in the tangled web of what he could and couldn't have done,
and until the hammer falls, he'll be blinded by nothing more than the echo of a silenced song.

And like the children before me, I will dive into the deepening and darkening pools I find,
and as I father my selves, I will dive to join the sinking denizens of my mind.
Track Name: The Hibernation
I was once proud and strong. I could do no wrong, nothing silenced the songs I sang to you.
Because my silly thoughts were still new, freshly scented and eager to show me what they could do.
But I soon stumbled and found myself in a dark little hole
From which I sat and watched all that passed with no thought for what my little role could have been.

And Fate is just a name we give to accidents,
Its just a name we give to rinse ourselves of any claims we may have made for this mess.
And blind are those who sing songs, those who lead us along, further and further from the warmth of what was into the icy cold of the darkening dawn. With each narrowing step we deepen our debts, but i guess this sad little show must go on.

____

Son, I should have told you I'd be ill-equipped to vie with the fools and the fiends who would come your way. They outnumber us and they are here to stay.
And though I made it seem like you and I could share the stage in this dream, I never meant what I seemed.


Time and time again, I made the same mistakes, then made them again with a brand new face, forever asking "when will this end?"
And I know I made it seem like you and I could share this the stage in this dream,
But how you could ever believe little old me?